Fathers and Mothers

 I got an email recently from a friend. He wanted me to know his father had died. It was a blessing really, for his father had been ill a long time and his mind had been “iffy” for even longer. My friend said he hardly knew his father, had never  been close, but he was sad and shocked at his depth of grief.

My mother never got along with her mother. Throughout my childhood I knew that when mother got a letter from grandma, it meant several teary days. And yet, when grandma died, my mother grieved. When my father died I felt suddenly naked in the world, as if some protection I’d hardly known was there had disappeared. When my mother died I was surprised at my reaction. I’d always been her mother, her confidant, her support, and yet at her death I felt like an orphan.

I’m not surprised. My friend’s FATHER had died. My mother’s MOTHER had died. We live with more icons than we realize, those figures Jung wrote about. They seem to draw from history, from all the civilizations throughout time. Primal figures. Mother. Father. Regardless of what they were in living form, they were representative of the great iconic MOTHER and FATHER. Those images we hold as our nurturer and protector.

What strange creatures, we humans are. But how lovely that we are—human, for it certainly keeps life interesting.

Suicide

Suicide. The word can hardly be spoken, it’s beyond our understanding and the numbers are staggering. This year, in this country, there will be more suicides than murders, one every 14 minutes around the clock. There will be more than a million suicide attempts. It is the second leading cause of death among college students and those between 24 and 34 years of age.
For every U.S. soldier killed on the battlefield this year, about 25 veterans will commit suicide. About 6,500 veteran suicides are reported every year--more than the total number of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. (The Week, April 27, 2012)

For those left behind, it is devastating for they feel not only their grief, but also guilt and abandonment. This became very real for my family twenty-three years ago when my son Bill took his life. My grief was brutal, rock-hard, stripped of all but the raw reality of death. It has taken many years, but I’ve finally completed a book about it and that book is now available. So far, the people who have read it have reported amazing transformational results in their lives. It is my hope that the book will bring comfort to those who read it. 

          SUICIDE: LIVING WITH THE QUESTION is a personal journey of healing and recovery. It shows how one family struggled to survive the agony and shock of a loved one’s suicide. Although it cannot answer the question of “why,” it can offer comfort as it asks other questions that open the possibility of looking at suicide in new ways. This book can offer solace to the many who are affected by suicide: Parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, co-workers. For each individual left behind, the suicide is devastating. And the attitudes and lack of understanding in society add salt to the wound. SUICIDE: LIVING WITH THE QUESTION offers hope to others, a small ray of light to penetrate the dark shroud that covers the subject of suicide. 

       SUICIDE: LIVING WITH THE QUESTION is now available on Kindle on www.amazon.com. The print copy will be ready very soon and you can order it now. Here is a review of the book:

There may be no answers to the question and....., April 13, 2012

By 

John Star - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Suicide: Living With the Question (Paperback)

What a wonderful, heartfelt and well written account of a mother's questions after the suicide of one of her sons. There may be no direct answers as it is such an individual and personal family tragedy, but the insights Ms. Maxwell shares about herself and their family are at the center of this book. Not just for families or individuals that have experienced suicide, this book is for anyone interested in family dynamics and the course we each choose to take. A very easy read about a difficult subject.